1. Focus on communication
Communication is a two-way interaction, you can’t get what your opponent communicates without focus.
Besides, you notice the things around and lack of focus on the conversation will make your opponent feel uncomfortable, uncomfortable.
You should focus on communication by limiting causes of distractions such as: turn your phone off, find a quiet space to chat…
2. Absolutely no interruptions
We can be sure that a person who has the habit of interrupting others can’t afford to listen well. If you want to listen well, the condition is that you have to let your opponent have ′′ space ′′ to speak, instead of spending all their words.
Not only that, when being interrupted by you will make your opponent uncomfortable, no longer want to share. To understand this in the best way, you can totally put yourself in your opponent’s position to feel it. Surely you don’t like people who keep stealing your words, right?
3. Understanding when listening
Because not everything your opponent can tell you directly. Therefore, in the listening process, you need to use your mindset to find out what your opponent wants to communicate. If when your opponent invites you to eat, they may already be hungry, and you shouldn’t hold them back to talk to you. Two people can totally move to another space to chat.
Surely everyone feels good to someone who understands me. Besides, realizing your opponent’s ideas is also the basis to help you respond accordingly, satisfied with listeners. Understanding your opponent will help you avoid words that upset or hurt them.
4. Do not judge and impose the opponent
An important principle to acquire effective listening skills is that you need an open mind to be a good listener. Because no one wants to talk to a conservative, take his / her ideology imposed on others, demanding that they have to approve it and not speak their opinion.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a personal opinion, but you should restrict your ego when communicating to truly understand others. Your opinion is not sure, receiving opinions will make you more complete.
5. Know how to ask questions
Asking questions is how you let your opponent know that you’re watching the conversation, you’re listening to them and really care about what they say.
However, you should remember that it takes the art of asking questions, you should ask the questions that show consent and surprise like: ′′ Really?”, ′′ Is that right “… so that your opponent knows you are interested in their story. At the same time, asking the right questions will make your opponent share more information about the topic being talked about.
Knowing how to ask a subtle question will show you as a person who listens and cares for others!
6. Body Language
Besides you expressing yourself listening to your opponent by asking questions, you also need to manifest what you’re listening to in a body language. Through expressions such as: surprised, emotional…; By actions such as: sitting position towards the opponent, nodding when listening to the opponent…
7. Provide personal opinions
Good listening skill is not that you will be silent during the conversation and listen to your opponent. It will make your opponent feel like being unique.
Therefore, besides asking questions you need to include your personal opinions on their stories. For example, ′′ I used to be like you “, ′′ I totally agree “…. The opponent will feel excited and open their heart to share more. With comments ′′ I get it “, ′′ I know “… let’s spend them at the end of the conversation, because they’re a sign of ending conversation.
Giving personal opinion on your opponent’s story is the claim that you’ve actually listened to their story.